It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.
This is to announce the development of a new software system which will be year 2000 compliant. The program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” ( MYASS ) Next Monday we will have a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all […]
The first, a retired sheriff, described the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde back in his younger days. The other gents nodded and agreed that, indeed, would have been exciting. The second, a retired fireman, related the tale of a huge fire at the university several years back. There were flames, fire […]
I was doing yard work after the storm this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower. I realized that I couldn’t find the rake. I yelled up to my wife, “Where’s the rake?” She couldn’t hear me and she shouted back, “What?” I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my […]
I’ve never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing or why men think with their head and women with their heart. For example… One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, […]
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. “Hey!” shouts the manager. “Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!” The […]
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? Well, she was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was […]