Doctor: You have this serious disease. Me: Oh no. Doctor: But don’t worry you can cure it with a healthy diet and exercise. Me: OH NO!
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth. Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole […]
A blonde was desperate for money. So she decided to go to the richer neighbourhoods around town and look for odd jobs. At the first house, a man answered the door and told her. ‘Yeah, I have a job for you. Could you paint the porch?’ ‘Sure,’ smiled the blonde, ‘I’ll do it for $100.’ […]
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Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?” “No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So […]
This is to announce the development of a new software system which will be year 2000 compliant. The program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” ( MYASS ) Next Monday we will have a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all […]
The first, a retired sheriff, described the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde back in his younger days. The other gents nodded and agreed that, indeed, would have been exciting. The second, a retired fireman, related the tale of a huge fire at the university several years back. There were flames, fire […]
I was doing yard work after the storm this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower. I realized that I couldn’t find the rake. I yelled up to my wife, “Where’s the rake?” She couldn’t hear me and she shouted back, “What?” I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my […]