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Author: Trove 42

Visit To The Doctor

February 22, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

Doctor: You have this serious disease. Me: Oh no. Doctor: But don’t worry you can cure it with a healthy diet and exercise. Me: OH NO!

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What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?

February 22, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

Dear customer, We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/illegal downloading on your network.

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Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret.

February 22, 2017February 22, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth. Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole […]

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A blonde needed some money.

February 22, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

A blonde was desperate for money. So she decided to go to the richer neighbourhoods around town and look for odd jobs. At the first house, a man answered the door and told her. ‘Yeah, I have a job for you. Could you paint the porch?’ ‘Sure,’ smiled the blonde, ‘I’ll do it for $100.’ […]

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Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person.

February 22, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 4 Comments

I was also fired from my job as a bus driver.

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Mickey Mouse wants to divorce Minnie

February 22, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

Lawyer – Mickey Mouse, you say you want to divorce Minnie because she is extremely silly! Mickey – No, I said, she is fucking Goofy!

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What If Some Leading Brands Manufactured Condoms…

February 22, 2017February 22, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

Nike Condoms – Just Do It Nokia Condoms – Connecting People Panama Condoms – Nothing Between You And Me Duracell Condoms – Longer Lasting Hero Honda Condom – Fill It, Shut It, Forget It Mrf Zigma Condoms – Space Age Condoms MRF Condoms – Extra Rubber Extra Mileage Kelvinator Condom – Its The Coolest One […]

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I think my family is racist.

February 22, 2017February 22, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

When I brought my black girlfriend home to meet them, my wife and daughter wouldn’t even talk to her!

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Everyone Knows Dave!

February 21, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?” “No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So […]

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My doctor checked my prostate last week.

February 21, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 1 Comment

It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.

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Two mind-readers bump into each other on the street.

February 21, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

The first one says to the second one: “You’re fine, how am I?”

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Subject: “Millennium Year Application Software System”

February 21, 2017February 21, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

This is to announce the development of a new software system which will be year 2000 compliant. The program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” ( MYASS ) Next Monday we will have a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all […]

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Three old timers were relating their most exciting experiences.

February 21, 2017February 21, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

The first, a retired sheriff, described the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde back in his younger days. The other gents nodded and agreed that, indeed, would have been exciting. The second, a retired fireman, related the tale of a huge fire at the university several years back. There were flames, fire […]

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My wife left me because I’m too insecure.

February 21, 2017February 23, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

No wait, she’s back. She just went to make a cup of tea.

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I Needed The Rake

February 21, 2017February 21, 2017 Trove 42 Leave a comment

I was doing yard work after the storm this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower. I realized that I couldn’t find the rake. I yelled up to my wife, “Where’s the rake?” She couldn’t hear me and she shouted back, “What?” I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my […]

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