Hilarious Insurance Claims

The following are actual insurance claims submitted by people who have been involved in car accidents:

  • “Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.”
  • “A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.”
  • “We had completed the turn and had just straightened the car when Miss X put her foot down hard and headed for the ladies’ loo.”
  • Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?
  • A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
    Q: What warning was given by you?
    A: Horn
    Q: What warning was given by the other party?
    A: Moo
  • “I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind.”
  • “I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant togethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.”
  • “Three men approached me from the minibus. I thought they were coming to apologise. Two of the men grabbed hold of me by the arms, and the first slapped me several times across the face. I Knee’d the man in the groin, but didn’t connect properly, so I kicked him in the shin.”
  • “I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.”
  • “I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.”
  • Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature? A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
  • “The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.”
  • “I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.”
  • “First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.”
  • “I was on my way to see an unconscious patient who had convulsions and was blocked by a tanker.”
  • “Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife while he is there. What shall I do about it?”
  • “Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.”
  • “The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again”
  • “No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.”
  • “I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”
  • “I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.”
  • “A car drove away at speed catching our client who went up in the air and his head went through the windscreen and then rolled off at the traffic lights a good few feet away. The car then sped off and miraculously our client remained conscious and managed to cross the road.”
  • “I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the roof of my car”
  • “The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him. “
  • “To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian.”
  • “My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.”
  • “An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.”
  • “I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.”
  • “A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.”
  • “A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
  • “The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”
  • “In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”

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