None, they all walked out because they didn’t like the way the electrician did it.
Your Essential Collection of Batman Jokes
What’s the difference between Batman and a robber? Batman can go into a store without Robin! What does Joker do when he’s not plotting or committing evil crimes? He rides his Harley. What is a Batman’s favorite part of the joke? The “punch” line! Where does Batman go to pee? The batroom. What do you […]
Frank Feldman, the perfect man
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.” Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened […]
How to create a perpetually rotating motor?
Theory 1 : Cats always land on their feet. Theory 2 : Buttered toast always lands buttered side down. How to create a perpetually rotating motor? Easy, attach a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat, and drop the cat from a height.
Q: How can you tell a hippie has been at your house? A: He’s still there. Q: What did he say when you told him to leave? A: Namaste. Q: What’s the difference between a hippie chick and a joint? A: The joint won’t make it all the way around the circle. Q: How do […]
A woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm
A woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm. The bartender says, “Sorry, you can’t bring that pig in here.” The woman replies, “This isn’t a pig, it’s a duck.” The bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.”
Why can’t Harry potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?
Because they’re both cauldron.
Blonde solving a puzzle
A brunette walked into a room and saw her blonde friend whooping and hollering. “What’s the matter?” The brunette inquired. “Nothing at all. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The blonde beamed. “How long did it take you?” “Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in […]
Math Dad Jokes
We all love math jokes. Because let’s face it, for most of us math is a joke. And where would we be without dad jokes? So now enjoy this collection of math dad jokes. Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging? Because they always knew X was 10. Why should you never […]
A lawyer gets pulled over for speeding.
Lawyer: Is there a problem, officer? Officer: Sir, you were speeding. Lawyer: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Lawyer: I would give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Lawyer: Lost it four years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see… Can I see your vehicle […]
Visit To The Doctor
Doctor: You have this serious disease. Me: Oh no. Doctor: But don’t worry you can cure it with a healthy diet and exercise. Me: OH NO!
What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?
Dear customer, We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/illegal downloading on your network.
A blonde needed some money.
A blonde was desperate for money. So she decided to go to the richer neighbourhoods around town and look for odd jobs. At the first house, a man answered the door and told her. ‘Yeah, I have a job for you. Could you paint the porch?’ ‘Sure,’ smiled the blonde, ‘I’ll do it for $100.’ […]
Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person.
I was also fired from my job as a bus driver.